Leandra, I’m so sorry. As someone who has struggled with infertility for 12 years, I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’ve walked a similar path. It’s a path of grieving with no funerals, of asking “why?” to the ceiling, of missing someone you’ve never met. It’s putting up with well-meaning but recklessly insensitive comments, and it’s blocking a lot of people in your social media feeds for the preservation of your own mental health. You are defining new limits for your own courage and scrappiness–you are going to be okay.
Mothers Day Trivia: On Mothers
As a man I have seen the pain that the lack of a village has had on my wife and kids. I have seen my wife desire and need for the sharing of the responsibility of the kids. I have seen the pain of not having the wise woman to talk to.
I have brought pain to my family every time I have made them move so that I can make sure that there is money to pay for the house and food. I have felt the anger, depression, frustration from my wife from not having the village. I seen the pain and damage the lack of the group of kids running around has brought to my kids. The damage is great on my kids and wife.
My burden as a husband is knowing that my wife and kids are suffering and not always knowing how to help. Knowing that my first goal has to be to put the food on the table and feeling that I am failing as a husband and father to do that.
I agree that it weights heavier on my wife and I know that this has to change in our society because without a village our society can not last.